My way to know God
What was the beginning of interest in these problems?
In fact, it all began in the pre-mural period when I approached "full maturity."
I, an eighteen-year-old, looking for answers to questions about the future, uncertain in his decisions, uncertain in the plans for the next time, and even uncertain sentence of the final exam, went to talk to God to a nearby church. I asked you completely for his help in my difficult situation. What effect did it bring? I think it's good.
It was a wonderful period of youthful bonding with God, without philosophical thinking, without seeking evidence for his existence, without doubt whether He is waiting for us in His Kingdom.
With time, gradually, everything took on a more stable form as I began to serve regularly for the morning and afternoon masses in the Church of the Visits in my city. It was like this. As usual, I went to the first better church to pray for a moment. It was the Church of the Visits. I saw that the sisters were preparing an altar for the holy mass. Something touched me to enter the sacristy. I realized that the priest would be celebrating her alone, without an altar boy. A bit surprised by my own boldness, I informed him that I had been an altar boy in a neighboring church for many years. What a surprise when the priest invited me to the altar as I stood without a commodity without any preparation. In a few seconds I was with him at the altar in front of a large number of the faithful who had come to the church. What an experience when everyone is looking at me! Ten years after the last ministry at the altar, I was there again in the character of the altar boy, thrown into the deep water, alone with the priest with the obligation to do all the activities that an altar boy must perform and which I thought was completely gone. Somehow it all worked out and from that day began many years of not only regular service to mass, but also great discussions about God and man with priest Jan and priest Bronislaw. It seems that priests are not allowed to be friends. It's probably a rumor, because these two clerics were the denial.
This friendship has just begun my search for the truth that continues to this day.
I started writing this book "The Touch of Eternity" and the website "www.istota.net" when I finally discovered God enough that I could present this knowledge about Him to my friends. Before, many times I thought that this moment had already arrived. In the meantime, it was only now that I understood that I had not only emotional experience of the relationship with God, but also a logical understanding of His existence that complemented my knowledge in a sensible whole. In the meantime, I experienced a storm of feelings and experienced real emotions of an active missionary, which allowed me to test my attitude towards God in practice. Finally, I realized that Heavenly Father was a Being without borders, and I was able to reject all the barriers that I had built, those imaginary and those that seemed real. I also understood that I do not have to break the wall between Him and me, because this wall simply is not there. There are also no harsh conditions, prohibitions and punishments that separated me from God. It is simply full freedom, free contact with the Beloved Father. Love for such a God is so huge that there is not even the possibility of breaking these different commandments and prohibitions set by religions in the world. Then my path to God became simple, clean and very short.
Again I also understood man as a child of God. Man should be a completely free being, because he is eternal and cannot be subject to any dependence other than family bond with Heavenly Father.
I also rediscovered the universe as the external embodiment of God - the Creator. This is a phenomenal, unfinished area waiting for its rightful host - a perfect man.
I understood that I am not pollen in space, but an important being without which this universe cannot be fulfilled by the Creator.
There is another everyday reality. It was hard for me to come to the conclusion that although God is, in the human civilization around me, he does not really exist. I write about it in many places in this study, because it is a truth that results from the fact that God does not know evil.
Already, unfortunately, the time has come that my body begins to "fall apart". That's why I have to hurry up to share my experiences with other people. By the way, I want to point out that the only "egoistical" prayer that I am addressing to God is to pray for keeping my health in a useful condition. Only for this moment I have to ask God. Besides, all I want to do is rather a help to Heavenly Father. It is to Him that he must be helped to achieve His purpose of creation in order to make Him and humanity happy.
Unfortunately, many beautiful moments in my life are marked by deep sadness resulting from a lack of understanding on the part of the surroundings and from a sense of loneliness in what I do. It is not some regret, but a pain, probably similar to the pain that Jesus Christ experienced every day. Sometimes I even lose hope that I can explain my condition and my desires to anyone. My friends and acquaintances have seen that throughout my life I have had a special relationship with Heavenly Father. I've really deeply loved God from the earliest years. At the same time, I kept the distance to my relationship with God because I was always guided by logic in search of His presence in my spiritual life. I never interrupted this pursuit of the truth about the existence of the Creator and I will continue it despite various adversities.
Now that I have gained a large amount of knowledge on this subject, it is difficult for me to remain silent. For now, however, my statements are limited to writing texts for the purposes of my website and my books. I did not find among my friends and acquaintances, as well as among other people, who would like to talk openly about the God's Heart waiting for us, His loneliness after losing His children and the difficult way of salvation that should be ours.
It follows that although you have friends, although you have loved ones, although you love them all, you never know whether you are accepted and loved. Meanwhile, with a deep relationship with God, I feel love flowing from Him. Then you are sure of his acceptance, though, unfortunately, you also feel his loneliness.
I wrote this whole text with great calm and with a feeling of love for the Creator, and also with the awareness that I summarize the experiences of my whole life.